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April 2, 2012

I lost what I promised You to keep

Dear sweet Allah, first of all, Im sorry and asking for Your apologize...
I had make a sentence before to not losing my temper, but I just lost it yesterday. If this is a test from You to see how far can I kept my promise, obviously, I'd failed T.T...

Maybe because Im so protective, I dont have a younger sister, so all the friends that I had here who are younger than I am, I treat them as my sisters. Maybe the blame is on me, and Mianhae... I just cant stand when they do something that will harm themselves. Cause I think they are too wonderful to do something awful.

Im sorry, but, I just cant. Cant stand people who not appreciating their lives... Dont they know how lucky they are? My other brothers and sisters are fighting for their life when Allah testing them with an awful war. For them there, there is nothing more important that keeping themselves alive to protect our religious as well as their family and other Muslims. How can, how could, and why... Why you doing something that will just shortened your life? The time that Allah give you, the chance, why do you want to give it back to Allah. How ungrateful us as His slaves...

I dont like it when I get mad, cause people will start making fun of me without knowing that Im very sensitive with this issue, cause this temper is something that Im working to stay away since I was small. I know, instead of how afraid they are when I exploded, they are trying to makes me smile and laugh and try to come out jokes out of it... But I dont think its needed. Just ignore it, and I will thankful them a lots.

There will be a small gap. And I know, Allah give me this small appearance as a test. Making me unsuitable to mad, unsuitable to do rough things, making people look down on me and not expecting me to do great stuffs... But, You keep testing me, and I love the way how You notice me, how You love me... Thanks...

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