Caution!
Grammar errors are EveryWhere!

Every sound effects that you will read are The sounds of me..., uttering when typing

August 25, 2015

I had a great life

Everybody is talking about friendship, (Or as for us, we called it as ukhuwwah fillah)

But nobody really have faith in it.

Yeah... Its way more weird and even more complicated than the kind of love between two opposite sex of humans.

Because in friendship, nobody gets anything.

You just doing something for these friends, because they are your friends.

at the end, it dont benefit you at all.

The only thing that left is that you saw their smiles, and it somehow make you think you had a great life.
And He said, If you love His creations (The earth and anything on it)  like you love yourself,
He, love you more. 

August 21, 2015

Mamalia yang ingin cuba terbang

Ya Abah, Mak, akulah budak gila itu yang hari ini masih bernyawa kerana dulu saat aku ingin hentikan nafas Dia aturkan ade orang bisikkan aku nama Tuhan.

Tak Ramai yang sedar
aku belajar agama baca buku orang malaikat bukan kerana aku mahu menjadi orang warak, tapi kerana inilah rawatan pemulihan yang Dia atur aku pilih untuk diriku.

Dan aku bermimpi mungkin ia boleh merawat beribu lagi yang sepertiku

Tidakkah jelas skali saat dulu betapa aku ingin mati tanpa amal, kini aku ingin hidup dengan bermati matian beramal

Tidakkah jelas betapa dulu aku tidak ingin melihat manamana muka manusia, kini aku mampu tersenyum dan memeluk anak kecil

Tidakkah jelas betapa dulu aku merasa dunia ini jahannam, kini aku mula bercerita tentang bunga

Tidakkah jelas dulu berapa banyak kali aku menyalahkan Tuhan kerana memberi aku kehidupan kini aku merasa betapa sedikit sekali aku bersyukur dengan nikmat kehidupan dariNya



Bizzzzzzzz*ini bunyi kacing gigi

nadiku mula mendatar

bunyinya tidak lagi sepantas itu

Apa kamu rasa ubat ini tidak berkesan

Mintalah pada Tuhan aku yang dulu

Cabutlah tali hayat ini



Kalau itu yang paling memuaskan

Kamu


Cukuplah dengan pengenalan diri yang kamu cuba tulis buatku


Saat sahaja aku mampu memperkenalkan kembali
identiti diri
please write this down

Aku cuma mamalia yang ingin cuba terbang

August 17, 2015

Masa Lalu

Anas RA mendengar Rasulullah SAW bersabda, "Allah berfirman, 'Hai anak Adam, sesungguhnya selama engkau berdoa dan mengharap kepada-Ku, pasti Aku ampunkan bagimu apa yang telah lalu bagimu, dan tak Ku-hiraukan berapa banyak. Hai anak Adam, andaikan dosamu telah sampai ke langit, kemudian engkau minta ampun kepada-Ku, Aku ampunkan bagimu. Hai anak Adam, andaikan engkau datang kepada-Ku dengan dosa sepenuh bumi ini, tetapi engkau menghadap kepada-Ku dengan tidak menyekutukan Aku dengan sesuatu yang lain, niscaya Aku akan memberi engkau pengampunan sepenuh bumi itu pula."
HR Tirmidzi

面具下的人是谁

What do you think about glasses?

If it as simple as a frame with two pieces of glass, I would not write this post to stick it at the wall of my blog. Heee~

First impression orang, bila lihat orang berkaca mata adalah,
pengetahuannya mesti luas,
budak nerd yang disanjungi dan punya minda yang bersih dari segala kelucahan duniawi. erk~? 
Sooo ok, before aku with Glasses, aku pun punya mindset yang same kepada sipemakai pemakai kaca mata transparent nih, sehinggalah pada suatu hari, aku terpaksa bermata empat.

Ramai pemata empat merasa dengan kaca mata, mereka low convidence, rasa tak cantik, pakai tudung pulak of course leklok je bentuk muncong bulat keras cantik2, pakai je glasses terus ruin~~~ its like yes I know the rest of the day gonna be a very bad day (If you know What I mean) like Im the ugliest in the room~ kerghhh
(OK maybe aku over-expression a bit.) 

Ada yang tanya aku, nak tak kalau suatu hari nanti dah tak payah dah pakai Glasses, lookin like completely normal person with two eyes on their face? My answer: nope. I dont want to.

You know, for a girl like me, glasses play a lot of roles, it make My nose look taller, My face look more mature, My knowledge seems wide, and believe it or not, Im more convidence and more patience when Im wearing glasses. (But I need to choose the suitable glasses for My face as My face isnt that wide, its kinnda like, kid's size) 

Yeah~, wearing one really dump me in a pretty much troubles lifestyle, for example, If I lost it, I cant find it, cause I cant see clearly something size as small as My palm in a room that can fit a car. Or when I want to read books when lying, I need to really add up extra pillows Or choose the right pose in a way to read My books comfortly. Or like when its raining, and then the rain stop, My world was like its still raining and the world will end in raining. Aaaaaa~!

But despite all that, yahh, I like me in glasses. If one day I decide to fix my eyes and not wearing it anymore it perhaps its because I had babies and they kept pulling my glasses away from me Or I keep accidently hit their faces Or accidently scratch their faces with My glasses whenever I want to cuddle them. Or maybe the time when I got too old and wanna look young and innocent girl again, I might take it off. Ha Ha Haa~ 

you know what, after live My life for almost 23 years now, I do agree that nobody really know anybody

Causee, you see, for example, me, people who just met me will think Im a sweet, interesting, innocent and quite girl, who know me for some times will labeled me as too strict, no-topic to talk with, too rough, heartless, fierce, only think that Im right all the time, (maybe they'll think Im a lesbian)  and not easy to get along with. 

For people who can see me under my mask, I know they will hug me for real, cause I've been a coward who scare to live, scare to love, hate being left, and think about everybody else except for myself. 

And when I said something, I will try to voice out the truth, yeah, something that nobody want to listen to, 关双耳双眼,不要改变. But maybe the way that I takes things are  too simple till people who are created with complicated hearts cant understand it, (for example, human being named women) XwX yeah like Im not one of them~ hehe 

But I know, If I hurt and sad because of it,  it probably because I havent finished learning Chapter Sincere yet, it probably will takes me forever... till I met Him. 
*wait a sec, how the stories got here in the first place O.O 

August 15, 2015

Ketika hati yang jenis itu datang lagi

我还这么年轻
人人说我还无法仔细分辨
死亡的本意和爱的真正含义
Yet I have heard and witnessed they both carry darts 
双双的目标是人的心脏...



#(inilah yang terjadi bila belajar mandarin tak habis, puisi rojaak)
#bilaMalamMenyanyi

August 14, 2015

exactly at that moment, aku.rasa.ghindu

So, this year, I had my Hari Raya in Beijing, with my 2nd day of Hari Raya missing in action (I had my flight on the 1st Raya in Beijing, but when I reached Malaysia 6 hours later, its already the 3rd day of Raya here.), time felt short~

10 hari after safely touched down Kelantan, mak abah tak cukup tatap wajah aku lagi, aku dah fly away again to KL for another 10 days, after this packed 10 days journey, again coming back to Kelantan, sampai je rumah terus mandi, solat, tido.

Bangun2, mandi lagi -.-",
kendian decide nak unpacking barang, mase duk kemas2 luggage, keluarkan barang2 dari luggage, abah tolak pintu bilik aku perlahan, menjengahkan kepalanya, macam mengintai ngintai, "eh, kemas barang nak ke mana lagi fa?"
Mase tu sebab aku tengah lelah2 tak cukup nafas kerana barang yang banyak sangat, tengah2 zip2 luggage selambanye jawab, "bukan bah, nih nak kemas simpan."
Abah : "oh, ingatkan nak ke mane." sambil menarik balik kepala yang dijengah. Aku, continue unpacking stuff

a few hours later, after i'd put everything in place, aku menghumbankan diri yang dah sunburn dan kekeringan keatas katil sambil tarik nafas hembus panjang. pandang lampu panjang yang melekat kat siling.
keluh, what a longggg trip. *hurhhhhh

Tiba2 soalan abah tadi berlenggang lenggok crossing my mind. "eh, nape abah tanye gitu tadi, bukan obviously aku baru balik ke..."

Suddenly, exactly at that moment, 
aku 
rasa 
ghindu.
*sob
"Traveling -
it leaves you speechless, then turns you into a storyteller"
~Ibn Battuta
Short Message Service
Saya manusia yang tidak sempurna,
kerana itu saya sampaikan setakat yang saya tahu...

Pesanan, bunyi-bunyian bisikan dan apa yang saya tulis,
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ia hanya sekadar usaha supaya dikasihiNya...

Jika banyak kekurangan yang anda lihat pada diri ini,
anda memang benar...

ITULAH SAYA...
Tanganku akan hancur di dalam tanah,
Tinggal hanya tulisanku di dalam buku,
Moga sesiapa yang membaca tulisanku,
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-Imam Syafie